


If at First you Don't Succeed....

by Adeadlymusician



Series: New Game Plus [3]
Category: Xenoblade Chronicles 2 (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Anxiety, Attempted Murder, Dissociation, Gen, Identity Issues, Mental Health Issues, Mentions of Rape, Mentions of Sexual Assault and Harrassment, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Tags Will Be Updated As I Add Chapters, Torna as family, identity crisis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:28:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25691341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adeadlymusician/pseuds/Adeadlymusician
Summary: Before you can understand how a story ends, you must know how it begins.
Relationships: Rex & Satahiko | Mikhail, Rex & Shin | Jin
Series: New Game Plus [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1833886
Comments: 14
Kudos: 46





	1. Mikhail, Pt. 1

When Rex turned eight, he knew something was wrong. It was an unsettling, churning feeling that made his skin crawl with dread and eyes widen in fear. He didn't know what it was, exactly. But it was enough to make him wake up screaming, purple and green clashing with the words of strangers on the tip of his tongue. Words that he barely understood. It was enough to make him panic at the news of rising tensions between Indol and the other world powers. Tensions that he knew he was somehow involved in.

On his ninth birthday, he got a distinct feeling that he should be doing…. something. Anything, other than playing with the children in the village and helping with the crops. He dreamed of the clouds in the sea swirling around his head, of a suit so stuffy that you could barely breathe. The Cloud Sea… It was the siren and he was the poor pirate entranced by its sweet melody. He dreamt of a crazy man with blue skin, looking down at him with a mad grin as he slowly pointed his finger at him, everything going dark.

On his tenth birthday, he discovered salvaging. It was everything he had ever dreamed of. The calming feeling of the current rushing around his body, more familiar to him, it seemed, than breathing or walking. He wasn't allowed to go very deep, just barely below the surface. The adults always said his body was too young to bear all of the pressures of the sea but it was satisfying, nonetheless, to just float, to let the tide dictate his movements. Almost like going home after a long day at work (how did he know how that felt?). He discovered anger and fear and other complex emotions that he didn't have the vocabulary to describe. They churned in his gut, seeping into the space between his muscles and joints, filling his lungs and heart with a pervasive anxiety that would never ever leave him, even in sleep.

On his eleventh birthday, he awoke like any other day. He cooked breakfast, played with the kids, went to dive, and helped with the crops. Only to have someone try to kill him when he visited his parents grave. He didn't even remember what happened; he remembered sitting next to their graves and later waking up in a hospital bed in a village down the road. Waking up with memories that weren't his own. Or were they?

Was he Rex, the eleven year old kid from Leftheria with a passion for salvaging and playing with his friends? Or was he Rex, the eighteen year old driver of the Aegis that traveled up the World Tree to save Alrest? He didn't know. He didn't have the answers to those questions.

So many events had changed between the two lives he had lived. There was only one thing he could do, really. He wrote to Morag, to Zeke, to Tora, to _Vandham (-Vandham!)_ . To Emperor Niall and Queen Raquera. And finally, he wrote to Nia, Jin, and Malos. New Torna was out there somewhere. It made him uneasy to ever think of the people who had literally stopped at nothing to prevent him from climbing the World Tree as anything other than enemies ( _-he gasped, body falling, blood gushing out of his chest from the sword sticking out of it_ ). But circumstances had changed. More things were at stake. And he couldn't do this alone.

"Gramps, do you think you could find Torna? And give them this?" Rex asked nervously, fully expecting to be rejected. It was weird, being a eighteen year old stuck in the body of an eleven year old (or was he an eleven year old with the mind and memories of an eighteen year old?) He felt very weak and powerless, unable to do much outside of putting a cheap pen to a measly piece of paper.

"...Very well. I will do my best," the old Titan remarked after a while, preparing himself for an interesting set of conversations.

While Rex waited for Gramps' return, he trained. He got stronger. He didn't worry about refreshing his memory on arts; he was already taller than his previous life. And he knew that he would have to relearn everything once he really hit his growth spurt. But he didn't have the luxury of sitting around and doing nothing anymore. Not with Indol after his head. Not with the threat to the world still alive and kicking, ready to strike at a moment's notice.

Gramps brought grim news from Torna, though not without a glimmer of hope. There was no way of getting to Pyra and Mythra for another year and a half, at least. The North Leftherian Current stood in their way (alongside the ever growing threat of the Praetorium). It was notorious amongst Salvager's for a number of reasons. It only really moved every two years, shifting slightly south for about a month before abruptly careening north again. No one, not even the best in the field, were able to explain why. It was also some of the deadliest waters to dive in. Many potential Salvagers had been killed trying to find gold, either by a sudden change in the currents or the various deadly monsters that inhabited the murky waters.

On the other hand… Torna was willing to work on things. Peacefully. Negotiations with Mor Ardain and Uraya were already being discussed. Gramps had been taken aback too, he had found out later. Rex didn't know exactly what made them suddenly want to negotiate but he wasn't going to complain. At least, until he read the last part of the letter. Where they asked him for permission to visit Fonsett. To exchange information. And to officially draw a truce between them.

* * *

"You don't have to do this, Rex. You can write all of the information down and give it to them that way," Gramps murmured, nudging the boy with his horn. Rex remained steady, however. He was terrified, legs shaking as he struggled to breathe ( _-Vandham's screams as he fell to the ground, dead- Pyra's limp body falling and rolling to a stop just a mere meter in front of him - that menacing, echoing laugh-_ ). But he had to do this. He was the driver of the Aegis, for the Architect's sake (one of them, anyways); it was his duty to help those in need.

Nothing, absolutely nothing in the world, could have prepared him for the sheer terror that seized his body as the entirety of New Torna sauntered past the village gates. It was so reminiscent of their very first encounter, back in Argentum. Nothing had changed since then; he was still that _weak, scrawny kid_ from Leftheria that had no reason to butt into the matters of adults. His mind blanked, his eyes glossing over. He didn't remember much of anything after that. They must have discussed something regarding their situation, regarding whatever the fuck you were supposed to call their relationship. But he didn't remember. The first sensation he did recall was something harshly slapping his shoulder.

"-ey, kid, you okay? You're really pale. You look like you're going to pass out,"

"Uh… I have to go somewhere. Excuse me!" He said, darting towards his cave. He barely made it into the safety of its walls before his lungs seized with fear, his heart beating frantically, his body overcome with dizziness. He collapsed on the bed, vision spinning as he tried to breathe. He felt frustration rise in the back of his throat, scratching and clawing for release. It was bad enough that he woke up on occasion like this; experiencing it in broad daylight was even worse. He didn’t know how long he remained there, taking stuttering breaths with his eyes squeezed tightly shut, clenching and unclenching his fists, trying to regain some semblance of control. When he finally opened his eyes, the sun was in a different position in the sky. 

A knock on the wall outside sent ice through his veins. "Rex? It's me Mikhail. Can we talk? I promise I won't come in unless you tell me it's okay."

Rex didn't respond, paralyzed. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. You left like you had just seen a ghost.”

He had indeed just seen a ghost. Several ghosts, in fact. Ghosts that he could barely call his own. “I understand if you’re not feeling up to chatting with me. I get it. But I do need some confirmation that you’re okay.”

A tense silence. An opened mouth followed by nothingness. A sudden intake of breath followed by a smooth exhale. “Rex… May I please come in?”

“Yes,” Rex spoke, surprised when sound actually came out. He watched closely as the blade eater ducked into the small cove, glancing around curiously. Mikhail froze when he locked eyes with the boy, emotions filtering through his face so quickly that Rex couldn’t even begin to name a few.

"You're so young…." Mikhail said, lips quivering, eyes soft with something similar to empathy, reaching out instinctively. “I had noticed it before but…”

"Mikhail…. What exactly happened out there?"

"...Huh?" He replied, slightly taken aback by the odd question. 

"I … don't remember," Rex admitted, hunching over himself, grasping at his hair. "I don't remember what happened. One minute you guys were walking in and then the next someone was slapping me on the shoulder."

"Architect…." Mikhail said, blinking away something in his eyes. "Can I… can I hug you? Please?"

"Uh… sure…?" the blade eater wrapped his arms around the boy's middle, nose buried in the junction between his shoulder and neck.

"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry," he murmured into the boys shirt. "You didn't say much. We agreed to keep you out of the direct conflict if at all possible. It's not fair for a child to shoulder the expectations of the world. And we agreed to be… friends? Or something like it. We have no reason to fight. Not anymore"

“What are you apologizing for?” Rex asked, extremely confused.

"That’s what you’re taking away from this… You… You were… Architect damn it! I had thought you were being eerily silent,” Mikhail’s breathing picked up, a familiar feeling about to seize his entire body.

“Hey hey hey. No need for both of us to get worked up.” Rex said, rubbing circles on Mikhail’s shoulders. 

“Yeah. Yeah. You’re right,” He replied, voice slightly warped. “So, uh, what’s all of this stuff around here? Things you’ve salvaged?”

“Not quite. I’m still a bit young to be diving deep. Most of it was given to me by other salvagers over the years. I’ve been trying to see what I can build using what’s been found, you know? Like see, here…” Rex started to explain, grateful for the topic change. He saw the blade eater perk up, eyes sparkling with interest. Much like before, he didn’t know how long they stayed in his little cove, talking about salvaging materials and how they can be used. This time, however, he remembered every single detail. His own stomach rumbling loudly caught both of their attention sometime around sunset, sending them into a fit of giggles. Before Rex could get up to go start dinner, he was pulled into another hug by Mikhail.

"Will you write to me? After we leave?" He asked, his eyes glistening. He grasped one of Rex’s hands gingerly. "I… I don't want you to feel like you're alone. I was… an orphan in Torna. I know what it's like to be a part of a war you were forced into."

"In Torna? Wait, that means you're…"

"As old as Jin. 511 years, to be precise. I can't believe I even recall it, at this point."

"Mikhail…"

"And… I get like that too…" he admitted softly. "Where I start in one place and am suddenly in another with no recollection of how I got there. I get it. I'm here for you. Nia is too."

"I…" Rex started, pulling the blade eater closer. "Thank you. I can't promise I'll be running up to you to chat your ear off anytime soon but…"

"Baby steps?"

"Baby steps."

"Good…" he said, voice cracking, pulling back, patting Rex's shoulder. "Good. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"I'll see you tomorrow, Mikhail. Take care of yourself," Rex said, giving a tentative smile. He watched the blade eater saunter out, a curious feeling blooming in his gut. If all of New Torna was like this, then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, to be friends with them.

* * *

"Mik…..?" Patroka asked, startling when the human tackled her on a hug.

"He's just a kid, Patroka…" He said, sobbing into her shirt, clutching at her back. "He's just a fucking kid. We dragged him into this mess. We fucking dragged him into this mess. It's not fair."

"Mikhail…" Nia trailed off. "Is Rex okay?"

"Yes. For now," he sobbed, his breath hitching with every syllable. "I'm… I'm going to write him. He's really interested in building stuff with salvaged material. Maybe we could help each other out? I can draw up some blueprints and he can salvage the material and then we can... we can..."

“Do I…. Do I need to go and see him?” She asked. Mikhail shook his head.

“No,” He replied, his voice muffled. “I think he needs some time to process everything that’s just happened. But… But we need to keep an eye on him, you and I. He’s not doing so hot.”

“Mikhail, you’re really starting to worry me…”

“Later,” He said, lifting his head just above Patroka’s shoulder to make eye contact. “Later, okay? Trust me. The kid really values his privacy and while I love you all… It’s not something… It’s not something that…”

“Okay.” Nia said, catching on to what Mikhail was trying to say in his panicked state. “Let’s go back to the Marsanes, then. We’ve had a long day already.”

“Yeah…” Mikhail said, trailing off, already coming up with ideas for things to build. “Yeah. Let’s go.” 


	2. Jin. Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jin and Rex bond over murder and Cinnapon Rolls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of Rape, Sexual Assault, and Sexual Harassment. Nothing is explicit but the characters do talk about it

A brisk, cold breeze swirled around the trees, shaking the leaves back and forth. Rex was twelve and he had all the rage of a normal teenager his age. His voice was cracking, his hormones were raging, his body was growing (normally, this time). Instead of his frustrations being more… primitive in nature, however, they were directed towards the world. The world and it's unfairness. That damn Praetor had blocked any and all of his attempts to reunite with his blades. Some bullshit about how there was “No reason for Salvagers to be in those waters in such uncertain times”. He would have to wait another two years before he could even attempt to go after them. And that was assuming they could get the Praetor to back off peacefully (and legally. Though he was willing to do anything at this point to see them.)

Speaking of his blades… He knew Nia. Her favorite foods are Snowbaby Potato Salad and Cream Orange Parantha; her favorite color is yellow, like the sun; her preferred style of fighting is up close and personal; hell, he even knew that she preferred synthetic fabrics over organic. But he didn't _know_ her. He didn't have the same connection to her like he did in his previous life. The emotional connection just wasn't there (which was odd, given that he was so attached to Pyra and Mythra. He didn’t like to think about that). It was the hardest thing he had ever done, telling her, and he felt terrible about it. But he was still struggling with the idea that he was this hero, this mighty Master Driver. He was just a salvager from Leftheria, for Architect's sake, and now he was somehow the savior of the world. It didn’t make sense.

At least Mikhail was there to be an open ear. The blade eater was quite the empathetic person once you got past all of his defenses. Rex didn't have enough fingers to count how many times the blade eater had helped him through his episodes. It was nice to have somebody there that knew what he had gone through without the expectations of being their friend (or their driver, in this case. Not that he would complain about either in regards to Mikhail, mind you. Or any of them, really. They were actually nice people, in spite of their various quirks, and he could stand to learn a thing or two from them).

The sounds of fighting brought him out of his reverie. He stumbled forwards down the beaten path, heartbeat pounding in his ears. Once he arrived at Godford Isle, he made a noise of surprise; a crowd of rowdy soldiers in Ardanian uniforms (Lindwurm- he seethed) were standing outside around an enclave, weapons drawn. He narrowed his eyes, zoning in on what they were aiming for. A trademark flash of silver hair gave him the answer. Jin didn’t look well; the only time he recalled the blade having such sloppy form was during the brief time they teamed up in the Land of Morytha. And that had been when his body was failing. 

He had to do something. Jin was far too instrumental to all of their goals (and the rest of Torna would be devastated, especially Malos. That Aegis had been through enough as it is). Rex would have the upper hand if he managed to get a hold of a weapon. He crept around the group, careful to avoid any patches of leaves. As he got closer, he was able to make out Ardanian curses and jibes (He didn't understand the exact meaning but he had hung around Morag enough to pick up on some things). He locked eyes with Jin; the split second distraction allowed one of the soldiers to make a lucky blow to the blade's forehead. Jin fell to the ground, weapon slipping to the ground next to him. 

Somehow, he was able to slip through the group to grab the blade's sword. "Sorry, Jin. Going to have to borrow this." 

The weight of the weapon was odd but workable as he slashed through the first soldier who was taken by surprise. Rex parried an incoming attack from his left, muscle memory seizing control of his body. The soldier on the right raised his gun, trying to hit his head with the butt. He dodged effortlessly, kicking him into the Cloud Sea to be retrieved later. Copious amounts of blood splattered on him as he slashed at the next soldier. Rex looked around, noting the retreating forms of several lackeys. He would have to get those later. He turned his attention back to the field where a lone figure remained. It had to be the captain. Rex lunged. The bastard dodged, of course, and raised his weapon.

“Mother of...” he hissed, narrowly dodging the bullet. He dashed forward in a zigzag pattern, surprised by the amount of resistance he was feeling. It felt like he was running straight into the wind from the storms that liked to terrorize his home in the fall months. 

“You stupid child. Defending a serial killer. A cold hearted murderer. Just who do you think you are?” 

“I’m Rex. Nice to meet you,” He said, ducking to avoid another shot. He rushed forward, reaching around with his left arm as he launched himself at the captain’s torso. The soldier stumbled back, falling on his arse. As Rex stood and prepared to strike, a dagger was embedded into his side. The soldier twisted it and pulled down, making the wound even deeper. Gritting his teeth, Rex kicked him to the ground, backing away. 

That hurt, dammit.

The soldier sneered. “You’re defending him an awful lot for someone who’s supposedly your enemy. Are you his driver now?”

Rex scowled, rushing forward in a burst of speed. The captain somehow anticipated the move, meeting his strike with the dull edge of his weapon. How did he know that they were once enemies? Where was this power coming from? “No, I’m not. He’s his own person. He doesn’t need a driver.”

“Ha ha. He’s a blade. Of course he needs a driver,” The captain sneered. 

“He’s a blade but he’s also a person. He has the right to do what he wants with his life,” Rex replied, eyes filled with intensity. 

“Blades are nothing but servants to us. You’ve gone soft, my dear boy,”

Anger boiled within him. Why wouldn’t these people just leave him alone? Taking a deep breath, Rex slashed forward, wind howling in his ears. Black spots were appearing in his vision as the weapon slipped out of his hand. Why was his heart beating so fast...?

He vaguely heard two distinctive thuds before everything went dark, his mind unable to keep up with everything that had gone on.

* * *

Waking up after a long fight was always the worst. His muscles ached from overuse, his joints protested with every small move, and his head pounded against his skull. He sat up slowly, tenderly stretching his arms and legs. Opening his eyes, he noticed that the wound on his side had been neatly bandaged up. Strangely enough, it barely hurt and felt like a scrap rather than a stab wound. He was also donned in night clothes and didn't reek of blood, guts, and ether.

Rex took a glance out of the window. The sun’s light had not yet reached this part of Leftheria, still slumbering well behind the horizon. He stood up gingerly, careful to not aggravate his injury, before shuffling his way to the kitchen, putting the kettle on to boil water for tea. While he waited, he gathered the ingredients to make some Cinnapon rolls. 

Baking had never been something he had thought he would ever take up. He could cook for himself but it was nothing compared to Crossette or Pyra. Daisy’s mother had asked him for help a couple of months prior with preparing sweets for the children on a busy day and, well, here he was. Hearing the sound of the kettle, he prepared his tea and then went on to prepare the dough. 

Waiting around for the yeast to activate and rise was the most annoying part. At least, when it came to bread. He understood the chemical reactions and the science behind it; It was just that his thoughts liked to pick on him whenever he found himself without something to do. It didn’t help that he felt like he was juggling two sets of memories around like a clown in a circus. It felt like he was two different people inhabiting the same body. Sometimes, in the dead of night after he woke up from a nightmare, he desperately wished that he didn't have that extra set. That he could be rid of it completely. It’s not that he didn’t want to help with saving the world or that he didn’t want to save the world in the first place or, Architect forbid, that he wanted to forget all the important people in his (?) life; it’s just the disappointment on everyone’s faces when he didn’t connect with them immediately wore on him harder than anything he had ever faced. 

Sunlight passed through the windows, dancing on the ground. Rex rolled up the dough, slicing into moderately sized chunks. (Bite sized rolls tended to go faster and he would like a chance at having some this time, thank you very much.) He slid it into the oven, careful not to burn himself on the sides. Nia would have a fit if he hurt himself again. While they baked, Rex cleaned up the kitchen and put away all of the ingredients. There would undoubtedly be some very hungry children rushing into his kitchen in a couple of hours and he didn’t want any (preventable) accidents to happen. The kids were adorable, though, and he could never really get mad at them; Mark had the most adorable dimples, Abby and Charlotte had the makings of opera singers, and Daisy wore flowery dresses that never failed to light up a room with color. 

The sounds of the timer ticking got his attention. Yawning, Rex took a deep breath, the smell of yeast and cinnamon filling his lungs. He must have nodded off while he waited. He set out them on the rack and put the next one in. When he opened his eyes, he saw Jin hovering over the batch he had just taken out, half of the rolls already gone.

"When did you learn to bake?" Jin asked, munching on one of the rolls without shame.

“Hey hey hey. Get your hands off those, you dirty thief!” Rex said, trying to grab the treats out of the blade’s hand. Jin merely smirked, shoveling three in his mouth at once. Rex whined, pouting at the smug expression he was receiving. “I literally just pulled those out of the oven. You’re going to burn your mouth if you eat them like that!”

A cool breeze filled the modest room. Jin took another one, somehow managing to chew smugly. “Rex, you do realize I’m a blade? Our mouths aren’t as sensitive.”

“I.. may have neglected to consider that information…” Rex admitted sheepishly, face flushing. “But that doesn’t excuse you taking half of them literally seconds after they got done!”

“Why not? I highly doubt you’ll be eating these all on your own…”

“They’re for me! And Mark and Abby and Daisy and Charlotte and everyone else here!”

A raised eyebrow. “Including me?”

Rex sighed, realizing that he had backed himself into a corner. “Including you, yes.”

“Then you won’t mind if I take a couple more? I didn't exactly eat last night after healing your injuries.”

“JIIIINNN!” Rex complained, watching helplessly. “A couple more doesn’t mean five more!”

“Oops.” the blade replied with some semblance of a smile. Rex groaned, burying his face in his hands. “Great. Now I’m not going to get any. Again.”

Jin walked to the fridge. "Sit. I'll make some just for you." 

“It’s fine. You don’t have to,” Rex said, rubbing his nose. “Honestly. I can make my own.” 

“I want to,” Jin replied, tilting his head to the side. “You aren’t forcing me to do anything I don’t want to do, Rex. Relax. You’re fine.”

Damn. He had forgotten how perceptive the blade could be. “So… Not that I’m complaining, exactly, but why are you here? You don’t need anything from me, do you?” 

“I wanted to visit,” Jin explained, working around the kitchen quietly. “Mikhail was going to come along too but he got caught up doing something last minute.”

“Huh. No Malos? It’s rare to see you without him,” He mused.

“Not as rare as you would think,” Jin said. “But he does tend to follow me around like a lost puppy when he doesn’t know how to approach a situation.”

“I can imagine….” He said. “How’s life been for you? Anything interesting happen?”

“Nothing major. Obrona has taken up to moving the furniture around by a couple inches in each room to throw off Akhos since he doesn’t pay much attention to his surroundings. Sever likes to prank Malos until he explodes with frustration,” Jin shrugged, leaning against the counter. They locked eyes. “The usual fair for us. How have you been?”

“I’ve been hanging in there,” Rex replied, blinking. “This whole situation… has not been easy on me.” 

“We’ve noticed,” he replied. “Have you at least been getting some rest?”

“A fair amount,” 

“Rex.”

“I’m not lying. It’s not ideal but it’s a lot more than I have been getting,” Rex sighed. “I’ll be fine, Jin. Don’t worry about me.”

The blade hummed, not believing Rex at all but unwilling to press the issue. The kid would speak up when he wanted to and not a moment before. A comfortable silence fell upon the room. It was… kinda nice, if Jin was honest. Although, he should have expected this. Rex, while outspoken, did tend to keep to himself when unprompted and it made sense that he would sometimes spend his time in silence. 

The sounds of kids coming through brought them both out of their contemplation.

“Now now, leave Jin alone. He’s a guest, not someone to hang off of,” Rex said, twirling Daisy around. “What are you guys up to today?”

“Silly Rex! It’s time to swim in the Cloud Sea!” Mark said, holding a treat with glee. “Don’t tell me you forgot again.”

“Ha ha. You caught me,” Rex replied, rubbing the back of his head. “I’ll be back out there in a little bit, okay?” 

“Oooooo! Will you let us try on your suit again?” Daisy asked, pouting. “It’s so cooool!”

“Of course. You’ll have to give me a minute to bring it out, though? It’s heavy,” Rex said. “Why don’t you go ahead and get everyone together, hmm? Meet me out by the sea. Don’t do anything until I get there to watch over you.”

“You better not go back on your promise, mister!” Charlotte said, pressing a finger into his leg. “Oooo, are those cina.. Cina… Cinanopon rolls?”

“It’s _Cinnapon_ rolls, you dummy,” Daisy said. “Mr Shin is making them!”

“Now now now. We don’t call people dummies around here,” Rex said, frowning. 

“Why don’t you go and play with your friends? These won’t be done for a while,” Jin said, kneeling down next to her. “I promise, you’ll get some when they’re ready.”

Daisy stared at him with wide eyes. “Okay, Mr. Shin!”

“Have fun outside. Stay safe,” He said, ruffling her hair. Her lips upturned into a wide grin as she rushed off outside, the rest of the children following suit with excited screeching. 

“I should probably go after them… “ Rex trailed off, rubbing at the back of his neck.

“I wouldn’t worry too much about that. I can watch over them for you this time,” Corrine said, poking her head in.

“You don’t have to do that,” Rex said, hoping his discomfort didn’t show on his face. “I don’t mind.”

“I know you don’t. But I think you have some things to discuss with your house guest, yes?” Corrine said, a knowing smile on her face. “I’ll leave you to it.”

Ah, right. A conversation. He was so excited.

Rex hummed, right leg starting to bounce up and down. His eyebrows furrowed as he frowned. "Oh. You mentioned that you healed me, earlier? How is that possible?"

"Nia has been teaching us all some things. Basic healing techniques, and all that. She said something about us being too 'stupidly reckless' without 'a healer to patch us up'. She rarely ever joins one of us since she has her own duties to attend to," Jin explained. "It's not perfect. I'm not really built to heal."

"You did a pretty good job, actually," Rex said. "Barely even feel it."

"The wound was deep, Rex. You were lucky I was there,"

"I could say the same thing," Rex countered. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to relax. There was no need to get so worked up, after all. "You looked pretty under the weather. Are you feeling alright?" 

"Yes. They hit me with ether-sapping nets and I didn't want to kill them," Jin said. Now that mentioned it, he did seem to remember seeing something wrapped around the flesh eater. "Thank you for rescuing me, by the way. I likely wouldn't have made it out had you not helped me." 

"Of course. I've been meaning to deal with them for a while," Rex said. A tense silence fell on the pair. He sighed. 

"Jin."

"Yes?"

"You've been biting your lip this entire time. What's on your mind?" 

"I've… I wasn't expecting such brutality out of you," Jin admitted quietly, rolling the dough. "You sliced one of their head’s off. Cleanly, I might add."

Oh. That’s what that noise was, back then. "Not the first time I've killed a person. Certainly won't be the last. They were a part of Lindwurm. They’re a radical offshoot of the Ardanian Military forces.”

"Huh?"

It was Rex’s turn for a raised eyebrow. “You seriously don’t know about Lindwurm? They have ties to Bana and Indol, you know. There’s a base attached to Godford Isle that I’ve been meaning to take care of but haven’t found the time.”

“No, I knew that. You’ve killed before?”

"Yeah… I guess that would surprise you, given how little you actually know about me,” Rex said. “I’ve always tried to talk out my issues with people. I’ve never been the type to resort to violence or even fighting except to defend myself. But I’ve realized that you can’t save everyone and that you can’t always work it out. At some point, it does become a matter of you versus them.”

Rex sighed. “But the first people I ever killed actually happened before my… journey started. You’ve dealt with them already when you took down Bana in this timeline, I suppose you can call it. Anyways, there were a couple of salvagers who were sexually harassing some of the girls in Argentum. They had been the talk of the guild for months. Based out of Uraya, I think? One of them had even bragged about assaulting his girlfriend," 

Rex closed his eyes, leaning back. "Sexual harassment, assault, and even rape isn’t uncommon among Salvagers, sadly. One of the reasons I’m very grateful that you guys have been sending so much money; I don’t have to deal with... that... constantly like I used to. We try to root them out of the system but some are really good at covering their tracks. I was on contract with them once, in the sea north of the Guild. The waters themselves aren’t exactly deadly but if you dive deep enough then you could encounter some Squoods or Serpronds. They basically were bragging about getting away with assaulting these girls. I confronted them about it and they tried to attack me. So I cut the line tethering them to the surface."

Jin made a small noise of surprise. "I wasn't even really thinking. I was, well, afraid for my life. Years later, after it happened, I realized that they were aiming for my oxygen supply. Had they damaged it and prevented me from getting to the surface, I would have had a slow, painful death."

Rex took a deep breath. "Now that I understand their ties to Bana, it makes sense how they were able to get away with it for so long. They brought a lot of notoriety to the guild and the former chairman was quite the money grubber. A right pervert, too. Probably encouraged the entire situation."

"How old were you then? I know from when we hired you that you were an B rank salvager."

"At the time I killed them? I think I was 13 or 14. Somewhere around there. Not much older than I am now, that's for certain," Rex said, ignoring Jin's sharp intake of breath. "I couldn't salvage for a month, too afraid of myself and what I had done. But I don't regret it."

"And you didn't get blamed?"

"No. I'm not sure if they believed my lie about a monster attacking or if the rest of the salvagers were just glad to be rid of them." Rex said, anxiety stirring in his gut. "What was your first kill, human or blade, like?"

"I'll be honest with you: I don't remember," Jin confessed, pausing. "Lora and I were mercenaries. Sometimes we were able to resolve the situation peacefully. Other times, not so much. The first person I remember wanting to kill was actually Lora's father."

Rex made a small noise of surprise. He knew that Jin was usually pretty tight lipped about his driver and anything to do with her. "There's a story behind that, isn't there?"

"Yes. Gort was a pimp. He tried to kill her for resonating with me when she was ten. I sliced his arm off and escaped with her," Jin said, sighing. "She was… she didn't like to fight. We encountered him again when we were traveling with Addam and Hugo almost two decades later. We spared him, then, only to come across him one last time."

"What happened?"

"He was a failed Blade Eater experiment. Haze and I struggled to subdue him but we managed. Then… Well… Spessia was bombed and I became a flesh eater."

It didn’t take a genius to connect the dots. To lose your driver like that... "Haze? You traveled with…?"

"Ah. You wouldn't have known that. Haze was Lora's other blade. My partner."

Rex froze, the phantom feeling of electricity running across his skin. "Oh. Oh. _Oh._ What happened in Temperantia that one time…"

"Yeah…" Jin said, clearing his throat. “What about them now? You mentioned we already took care of them?”

“Oh. You guys actually already rounded them up when you took down Bana. I can get you names if you want.”

“I’d like that…” He trailed off. “These are done, by the way. Please don’t burn your mouth on them.”

Snorting, Rex grabbed one curiously, taking a tentative bite. His face immediately flushed bright red, the dough, butter, and cinnamon melting in his mouth. Architect damn if these weren’t the best Cinnapon rolls he had ever had.

"Fuck…! These are so good!" He moaned, stuffing another one in his mouth. 

"What?” He asked incredulously, voice slightly muffled by food. Jin shook his head, face soft with fondness.

"Nothing, k- Rex. Nothing at all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jin: *Doesn’t know how to start a conversation with the person you had killed in a previous life* *stress eats cinnamon rolls as a result*
> 
> Yeah this is one of my more “out there” ideas, so to speak. My brain is a very weird mish mash of things (including but not limited to king sized beds, set theory, time travel, bricks walls in the middle of nowhere, and more)
> 
> Also.......... School is killing me. Like actually killing me. The past 72 hours have made me want to drop all my classes for this semester, in all honesty. I won't because I will be set back so much by that. But dear God. 
> 
> There's probably like 7 billion errors in this because I've gotten like 0 hours of sleep across the past few days and I've changed this so many times ever since I finished the first draft (which was actually done before I started classes. If that gives you an idea of how much I've been doing without telling you exactly what I'm doing and revealing my identity outright. [Looking at you, Fayewen and Lavinia]). Please drop a comment below if you find anything weird. 
> 
> I'm going to go back to sleep now. Peace out *passes out*

**Author's Note:**

> Out of everyone in Torna, I think Rex would bond with Mikhail the easiest (We're excluding Nia from Torna since she traveled with Rex on his journey). 
> 
> But yeah, here's the beginning to this little gremlin of an idea. Where it's not all fun and games. We got to work through some EmotionsTM first. Let me know what you guys think! I love yo faces and I'll see you next time!


End file.
